December 18, 2016
by Mary York
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Celeyce Matthews & Recognizing Humanity in Life and Death, A Hospice Volunteer Spotlight

celeyceGreen

Celeyce Matthews, Zen Hospice Project

Cherishing Life’s Constant Reminders of Love, Acceptance and Connection

For Celeyce Matthews, the journey to working with hospice was over 2 decades in the making. It all began in her early twenties, when something inside her simply gravitated toward being present for people who were dying. She knew herself well enough to know that she didn’t have the strength or capacity to do hospice work just yet, but the seed had been planted.

In her late twenties, she went through what so many of us face: the loss of a grandparent. Her beloved grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and had hospice care at home in her final days. Through frequent visits over the next few months, Celeyce saw the process of dying firsthand. And on the final day, she saw the ‘ideal death.’

“It was just so moving and beautiful to be there with her,” Celeyce said.“She was in her own bed. All of  her family surrounded her. It was so beautiful and it just felt very complete and natural. I was so moved and honored to be there with her and witness that.”

That was Celeyce’s first brush with hospice.  After this shared experience, Celeyce’s mother decided to become a hospice social worker, and her father also did some volunteer work with hospice care. Though Celeyce had chosen to work as an art teacher, hospice care was always in the back of her mind.

Years later, triggered by a conversation with a friend at a meditation retreat, she returned home and filled out a volunteer application for the Zen Hospice Project, starting her on a new life path. That path coincided with her life-long practice of cultivating a deep, accepting and compassionate presence with reality through mindfulness and meditation. Today, Celeyce has found that presence and many other rewards during her work with hospice.

“It brings me to a place of absolute presence,” she said. “It strips away for me what feels like ‘surface.’”

Treasuring Every Single Drop of Life

Treasuring Every Single Drop of Life

Her ability to appreciate life, every single moment, no matter what it might be, has been expanded and enhanced. Even when terrible things happen, she sees a beauty in those things as well – there is not simply one or the other, but everything rolled into one beautiful, moving experience. Hospice care has taught her to really absorb all of it, appreciate everything, and not waste a single drop of life. And, Celeyce also finds comfort in the intense connection with humanity through hospice care.

“Being completely real and stripped down and vulnerable. That intimacy really nourishes me. Really feeds me,” she said.

As one might imagine, her work with hospice has brought her own relationship with life and death to the forefront. By being with patients in hospice, she is learning both how to die and how to live. Seeing all the different ways that people deal with death has made her think about what she might want for her own experience one day.
As she watched individuals suffer and deal with the fear of loss over the years, several stories have nurtured a growth of compassion and empathy within. In the end, intimacy, common humanity and gratitude have all taken center stage. Celeyce has been honored to be a part of numerous experiences, but a few stick with her.

One was a young woman in her thirties who was suffering from an aggressive form of cancer. Some of her out-of-state friends came to see her. It was a complete surprise, one that overjoyed the young lady. Her friends had brought along fun things, like a floppy sun hat, heart-shaped sunglasses, big fake mustaches, and so much more. Even though the woman was so drastically ill, they were all acting like kids – and they were all laughing.
Celeyce was honored to participate in those moments.

Allowing for Moments of Joy and Playfulness

Allowing for Moments of Joy and Playfulness

“I was taking pictures of them. It was such an intimate moment. I didn’t know all of these people and yet we were sharing this beautiful moment that was mixed with sadness and playfulness and goofiness and joy and love.”

There have been quiet times, too. She once sat with a woman who fought through a great deal of nausea with a joyful attitude and appreciation for the life she still had. They sat in chairs together, side-by-side, simply watching a sunset. Even though the woman was suffering, she seemed to have total peace and acceptance of her death. Simply sitting there beside her had a profound impact on Celeyce.

“It was such an amazing opportunity to be with all of that without pushing any of it away,” Celeyce said.

The Zen Hospice Project is also known for embracing moments of profound meaning, incorporating rituals and teachings that can take on great significance for families and the caregivers themselves. Celeyce finds that these often bring a sense of peace and closure to those who are saying goodbye. One of these is the bathing ritual. After cleaning the body, a special tea is brewed, and cloths are dipped into the tea. The cloths are then wiped over the hands, face, feet, and forehead – anywhere that seems appropriate. This cleansing can be accompanied by words for the person who has just left this life, or it can be entirely silent, a reverent moment of togetherness. A small bell is rung when the ritual is complete.

Highlighting Beauty in a Final Send Off

Highlighting Beauty in a Final Send Off

Another helpful ritual involves flower petals. The flower petal ceremony is an important way to make even the most clinical parts of death more beautiful. Once a person has died, the mortuary comes to collect the body. Though they are placed on a gurney and surrounded by a bag, the face and head are left open and exposed. On the way to the hearse, everyone pauses in the beautiful garden, and bowls of flower petals are offered to the family, friends, caregivers, and anyone else who wants to say their goodbyes. One by one, they step forward and scatter the petals over the person’s body. Sometimes it is done in silence, sometimes with words, but either way, the sprinkling of the flowers creates a beautiful send-off. A bell is rung and the mortuary takes the body away, but that brief moment lingers – it is a beautiful way to honor and say goodbye to someone.

Celeyce began her journey in hospice as a volunteer. Today she is on the nursing staff at the Zen Hospice Project. No matter her role in helping individuals with their transition out of this world, the deep appreciation for the full range of life remains.

“I feel gratitude for everything in my life now,” she said. “A deep sense of gratitude for the entire process of life, for everything that happens.”

Celeyce Matthews is a certified hospice nurse assistant, and former volunteer caregiver with Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco, California. She also facilitates some of the Zen Hospice Project’s Mindful Caregiver education programs, and writes and publishes stories of her experiences in hospice work at Stories of Care Giving

Related Web Links
Ten Ways to Mindfully Touch the Dying
Holding Hands

Spotlight TAKEAWAYS

  • Know that life is full love, suffering, beauty and difficult- all of which can nurture a gratitude for living
  • There are always gifts awaiting if we embrace the opportunities that come our way

December 18, 2016
by Mary York
0 comments

Introducing Windows Within Quotes, Honor and Story- A 1-Minute Video Meditation

ornament1Windows Within Quotes

In celebration of the holiday season and for the coming new year, please enjoy the NEW! Windows Within Quotes post. This and all future WWQ posts will feature 1-minute video meditations that explore the narratives behind the words of wisdom spoken by Hospice Volunteers.

May the meditations bring you peace and fill your hearts with gratitude.

Meditation 1:  Honor and Story

 

 

 

November 12, 2016
by Mary York
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Jack Pittman, Reflection on the Power of Music for a Distinguished Veteran

flying cross1

The Music and Medal Unite

Our Hospice Spotlight Volunteer Reflections are shared frequently. Reflections are stories of connection and meaning, presented in the volunteer’s own words. Here is Jack Pittman’s Reflection.

Moved by Music

“I have been very surprised by the impact and importance of music upon my patients with dementia. We had music therapist (although not all families or veterans embrace this service) but when they are open to the therapy, it is absolutely remarkable. We had one veteran who served in World War II. As a marine fighter pilot, he won a Distinguished Flying Cross, which is like the four ties medal many services (the fourth highest medal for valor).

He had the night shift. His two daughters were his caregivers and they kept trying to get him to pay attention to what was going on. You could tell his eyes were wondering, they weren’t focused. At the very end of the valor ceremony, we began singing the Veteran’s Service Song. In this case we sang the Marine Corps Hymn, he sat up straight–at attention, and he sang every single word with the team.

Every single word.”

November 10, 2016
by Mary York
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Mimi Welter & Finding Connection Within the Unknown, A Hospice Volunteer Spotlight

Hospice Volunteer

Hosparus Volunteer, Mimi Welter

Sharing the Unknown (and Chocolate Cream Drops too)

When Mimi Welter’s youngest child went off to college, she looked at her empty nest and wondered how she could use her extra time constructively. As a licensed social worker, she had a long history of helping others. Yet, it was the memory of a hospice experience with her mother that led her to the path of hospice volunteer work.

Seeing her mother die changed her perspective on life and death. She came to understand that the body is just a vehicle for the time here on earth, and that life is supposed to end-clearly, a ‘part of the plan’. Sometimes, that end is even a relief, especially when a loved one is suffering.

“Death is not a tragedy…life is suppose to end here on earth as part of the process,” Mimi said.

Since her decision to volunteer for hospice, Mimi has provided respite for families, as well as companionship for those who are transitioning from life to death. Her experiences have taught her a new appreciation for caregivers and she points out that no one knows how tough it is to be a caregiver until someone is in that situation. There are overwhelming moments of realizing just how much help someone needs.

While Mimi sits with her patients, she makes a point of getting to know them. She finds common ground through shared interests, such as pets, tennis and piano. Mimi has found that most people don’t talk about death. They prefer to talk about life.

One of Mimi’s patients was a woman who loved singing Baptist hymns. Mimi took one of her hymnals home and learned them on the piano. During her subsequent visits, she would play, and the woman would sing. It drove home that each person is unique and individual.

Notalgia Candy

Sharing Candy of Yesteryear

Reminiscing also guides her interactions. She learns about a person through their photo albums, tales of family vacations, discussions of grandchildren and children, and even sharing pictures of old homes.

Sometimes the reminiscing brings about unexpected moments of pleasure, not just for the patients, but for Mimi as well.  One patient recalled chocolate cream drops and orange candy of yesteryear. Mimi happened to find those candies a bit later, so she bought them and brought them to her next visit. She knew they would make the patient happy, and they did! They shared a fun moment together with those tasty treats because Mimi took the time to really listen.

But sometimes, those connections require a bit more than listening – they require some serious imaginative work. One of her patients suffered from Alzheimer’s, and wasn’t able to communicate. But Mimi noticed that when the woman’s son was mentioned, she lit up with happiness.

Baby Portrait

Photos of Happy Babies Provide Unexpected Joy

So Mimi went to the library and brought back an Anne Geddes book filled with colorful pictures of happy babies. Her patient loved it. Later, one of the aides thanked her for figuring out how to connect – the patient was starving for attention, and Mimi found a way to give her a wonderful outlet.

For many hospice patients, the outlets for hope and happiness may wane and the unknown looms large. But, Mimi embraces this unknown.  She is honored to share that space with patients and families and helps them face whatever might come to pass.

“There’s an unknown place where you are with that person and you are experiencing that with them. I’m a part of that experience. It is unique with each person,” Mimi said.

Mimi has found that vulnerability within hospice patients can invite reflection upon the essence of profound meaning in one’s life. She has seen patients realize the importance of accepting and appreciating help, something that can make the time left on earth more satisfying. And, she observes the ways in which individuals cherish life passions, and honor relationships, adding limitless value to the quality of the end of their life. So, Mimi has learned to honor these relationships she makes with her patients, as well as their families.

“It’s nice to have these moments that keep me returning,” she said.

In the end, Mimi has learned that the dying process doesn’t have to be traumatic. Between the help of hospice and the attention of caregivers, those at the end of their lives can talk about the things that matter, share the values that are most important to them, and hopefully move on from this world with a quiet peace.

Related Web Links
Everyday Hero: Chaplain Outfits Wheelchair for Hospice Patients
More Thoughts on Hospice Work

Spotlight TAKEAWAYS

  • Everyone is unique in life as in death–remember to mine the essence of that person
  • Treasure the privilege of sharing the unknown with patients.

October 17, 2016
by Mary York
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Jack Pittman on Validating Service & Honoring Legacy, A Hospice Volunteer Spotlight

Hospice Volunteer

Big Bend Hospice Volunteer, Jack Pittman

Sharing the Gift of Legacy

Jack Pittman knows what it means to serve. As a veteran he has served our country for over twenty years and continues to serve his community while in retirement as a hospice volunteer. Initially, hospice was not on his radar in terms of where he wanted to spend his leisure time, but after a short time with the Red Cross and other organizations, he found his heart was not fully present in the work. At the suggestion of a friend, Jack agreed to try the volunteer program at the local hospice. It was here that he found his home and where he felt like he was contributing to his full capacity. Almost immediately, his channeled his talents into the hospice Valor Program.

The Valor Program at Big Bend Hospice honors veterans for their service. Most of the patients Jack visits have served in the Korean or Vietnam wars, whether in service for two or thirty-two years, recognizing every veteran for their contributions. And, the importance of this recognition and validation of life’s work is something that Jack feels passionately about.

“I think there are many rewards of working with veterans, they remind me of the importance of legacy in life,” Jack said.

The Gift of a Legacy Document

The Gift of a Legacy Document

Jack’s special contribution to the Valor Program consists of creating personal life summaries, a legacy document for every veteran. It is presented as part of the bedside ceremony. Recognizing that veterans rarely share their experiences (the good, bad and ugly) with their families, Jack understands the importance of doing so, especially for generations that follow. As a gift to his own family, Jack created a legacy document years ago, sharing highlights of his service in Vietnam and passing those stories along to his grand children.  When he did this, his own son expressed deep gratitude and noted that fear had prevented him from asking Jack questions about his deployment.

The legacy document is one of several validating acts of the valor ceremony. Others include the presentation of a letter and certificate of appreciation, asking a spouse or adult child at the ceremony to attach an honored veteran lapel pin, rendering a formal salute, singing and even belting out one last Army shout, “Hooaah!”.  Jack reminisced about one patient, limited in his ability to communicate; yet, when the patient’s son encouraged him to repeat the “Hooaah!” cry that Jack shouted, he miraculously repeated “Hooooaahh” in a whispered voice.  Another patient, struggling with severe dementia, responded similarly to an invitation to sing the Marine Corp Hymn at the conclusion of his bedside ceremony. Although his eyes wandered and were unfocused, it was the music inspired the patient to sit up straight, at attention, while singing every single word of the hymn! It is experiences like this these that remind Jack of the elevated importance of validating service to country.

Celebrating the Greatest Generation

Celebrating the Greatest Generation

Service to country is something that Jack was unable to explore with his own father who served in WWII. However, through the Valor Program, Jack is honored to celebrate with folks who represent The Greatest Generation, most of whom are now in their late nineties. Their stories are remarkable, from harrowing accounts of an aeronautic door gunner to incidents that induced lifelong PTSD. Of particular importance is the Honor Flight in which hospice provides an opportunity for WWII vets to travel to Washington D.C. to view the war memorials. One patient expressed his longing to see these monuments for a very long time. When he finally did, a peace settled over him and two days later he died.

By witnessing this peace, jack has come to appreciate what hospice does for all his patients. He reflects upon his experiences this way,

“Everybody’s going to die. When it’s my turn, I feel encouraged to know that the care and concern, even the love, that hospice provides will gently ease me out of this life.”

Until then, Jack can’t ever imagine doing something other than being a part of the Hospice Valor Program and celebrating veterans.

“They teach you so much about life and about them….it’s just amazing what they did,” he said.

On behalf of our country and hospice, we thank you for your amazing contributions Jack.

Jack is a volunteer with Big Bend Hospice.

Related Web Links
What the Dying Can Teach Us
How to Speak to Someone About Unspeakable Loss

Spotlight TAKEAWAYS

  • Writing a life legacy is a powerful expression of gratitude for service to country
  • Remember the power of validating the veterans’ service

October 17, 2016
by Mary York
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Jack Pittman, Reflection on Duty, Honor and Sacrifice

Our Hospice Spotlight Volunteer Reflections are shared monthly. Reflections are stories of connection and meaning, presented in the volunteer’s own words. Here is Jack Pittman’s Reflection.

Airplane and Veteran

A Tale of Dedication and Honor

“I did one particular Valor ceremony that was profound. The patient had PTSD from his experiences in Vietnam and he had cancer, which was ending his life. When the valor ceremony was over, he said, you are all veterans, I want to share this story with you. He asked his wife to sit on the arm of the recliner and to hold his hand while he reflected. it wasn’t clear that he had ever told this story before but his PTSD started with an incident while in the marines when his battalion was guarding an airbase, and a C130 (which is a plane that carries cargo) was on approach. As it came in for a landing, the plane crashed about a mile short of the runway. He saw the crash and without orders, he just took off running for the plane. He found out later that he had taken off through a minefield to get to the plane. When he went got to the plane he saw that what had happened from the force of the impact, the cargo had shifted and crushed the crew that was in that aircraft. He then went to the tailgate of the aircraft and stayed there with his weapon and watched.

And when he finally was relieved the Lieutenant asked “Why did you do that? Why did you stay there and guard people who had died?”

He said, “I did that because I didn’t want any enemy soldiers coming in and taking personal belongings from them as trophies. I kept them safe from that.”

And then he cried. That was the source of his PTSD and he never got over that. The patient died a couple of days after telling that story.”

Read Jack Pittman’s Spotlight

September 20, 2016
by Mary York
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Cathe Keres & Paws of Comfort, Pats of Pleasure, A Hospice Volunteer Spotlight

Volunteer

JourneyCare Volunteer, Cathe Keres

A Visit from Clancy Provides Much Needed Hope and Comfort

The journey to hospice volunteer work includes some long-standing roots with Cathe Keres. Thirteen years ago, her mother was in the care of hospice and she remembers the experience as comforting and beautiful.  Regrettably, when her father passed twelve years earlier, he did not have the same opportunity to connect with the local hospice. More than ten years ago, fate stepped in, formally connecting Cathe to hospice.

Attempting to avoid any appearance of a conflict of interest (having served as the long-time caterer for the local hospice), Cathe remained silent about her desire to volunteer. But years later, the silence ended when she, and her newly certified pet therapy dog, Clancy, ventured into hospice volunteer service.

Clancy, a docile yellow lab, and Cathe now make weekly visits to the in-patient hospice unit. Over the years, she has seen Clancy motivate and offer hope and comfort for patients along with emotional support, including pure joy. And, patients aren’t the only recipients of these pleasures; often times, the hospice staff will seek the dog out, giving Clancy a treat and loving pat on the head, a much need playful break from demanding day of patient care responsibilities.

The special connection between people and dogs is undeniable. But, Cathe’s experiences with Clancy go beyond that universal bond. She recalled one patient, seriously declining in health, yet determined to get out of bed and dress for the dog’s visits, walking to the corner of her street to introduce Clancy to the neighbors.  This interaction developed over weeks and Cathe took a photo of patient and Clancy together. Little did Cathe expect that this photo would be the centerpiece of the woman’s memorial board at her funeral service. And, that the family made a donation in Clancy’s name, to the Therapy Dog International organization.

Therapy Dog

Clancy, A Dog Delivering Comfort

Cathe has also made short-term visits with Clancy, which have been similarly profound. For one family, Clancy filled the void of a much-loved and missed family dog, a circumstance of moving from over seas to the United States for patient care. For another gentleman, it was Clancy who provided him comfort in his last hours, the man stroking the dog’s head, triggering reclaiming of lost speech, uttering Clancy, his last words.

Not only has Clancy provided comfort to the “hospice organization family”, but he has also provided Cathe with the opportunity to observe and interact with those at the end of their lives. These experiences force her to reflect upon her existence and the manner in which she leads her life. Often times, it is the younger hospice patients that give her the most pause for thought.

During her own mother’s time in the care of hospice, Cathe remembered her saying, “We are all stepping toward death the moment we are born”.

And Cathe knows that the gift of perspective is such a treasured gift, one she receives each time hooks the leash to Clancy’s collar and journeys out the door together to see a patient.

“When mortality stares you in the face, it brings it back home, coming full circle. It makes you realize that one day it will be you,”  Cathe said.

Until then, Cathe and Clancy are grateful for the opportunity to deliver daily comfort and joy to hospice patients, enriching their end of life journeys.

Related Web Links
Pet Therapy Infographic
Ping Pong, the Dog Who Brings Compassion to Those Who Need it Most

Spotlight TAKEAWAYS

  • The presence of pets provide undeniable healing
  • Remember that we are all stepping toward death from the moment we are born.

September 20, 2016
by Mary York
0 comments

Cathe Keres, Reflection on Loving Clancy the Therapy Dog

Our Hospice Spotlight Volunteer Reflections are shared periodically. Reflections are stories of connection and meaning, presented in the volunteer’s own words. Here is Cathe Kere’s Reflection.

Therapy Dog

Clancy and His Loving Admirer

Loving a Therapy Dog Inspires Hope in Patient

I have a great story about one patient Clancy and I visited. This patient wanted a visit from a dog, and she only wanted a large dog. She fell instantly in love with Clancy. Although aided by continuous oxygen and monitored by her 24-hour caretakers, the patient couldn’t take her eyes off of Clancy during his visits. She had to pet him constantly and requested that we come every week. So, every Wednesday thereafter, for months, Clancy and I would arrive at her doorstep. One day, she wanted her neighbors to see Clancy, so she took out her walker and walked to the corner, sat down and then waited for people to come by. When nobody stopped, she walked to the other corner until the neighbors finally stopped and chatted with her about the dog and of how beautiful he was to her. The next week she greeted us sitting in a chair outside, and when the neighbors came by again, I took a picture of her sitting with Clancy. The picture was a small gift to her the next time I visited. That was the last time I saw her because she passed away suddenly one week later. Her spouse told me how much she loved Clancy. He said there were days when she would say she didn’t feel like getting up, and he would get ready to cancel Clancy’s visit, but then she would get up and get dressed to wait for him.

I was invited to the service for this patient and there were about 30 people in the room, all of them familiar with Clancy and his effect on the patient. At the family’s request, I went to my car to get Clancy and when we walked into the room everybody turned, looked at us in the doorway and greeted Clancy. It was crazy! So, I walked around and introduced him to the family members and we stayed for 15 minutes. Later, I got a notice that the family made a donation in Clancy’s name to our therapy dog organization. To make that impact on one person, that was just incredible to see!

August 15, 2016
by Mary York
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Kurt Rogahn, Serving Others Through Friendship, A Hospice Volunteer Spotlight

hospice volunteer

Unity Point Hospice Volunteer, Kurt Rogahn

Exercising Compassion and Building Friendships

When I talked with Kurt Rogahn, I sensed some hesitation about sharing the rewards of hospice volunteer work.
One might assume his reluctance was rooted in the sadness related to hospice work, but nothing could be further from the truth. What does, however, lay in the center of Kurt’s heart is service to others, giving back to his community and the innate rewards of those efforts, none of which he perceives as self-serving. He describes his approach to hospice volunteer work this way:

“Sometimes it’s just a matter of being there; the courage to be there really opens up all these other possibilities,” he commented.

friendship

Exercising a Helping Hand

Being there for others is important to Kurt and supports his belief of worldly reciprocity. Years ago, when his own father was dying of cancer, geographic distance did not allow for Kurt to be available. Nor was hospice service available to his father. Becoming a hospice volunteer where he lived was a way in which Kurt could make up for it. When pressed to describe how he has changed since volunteering for hospice, Kurt does acknowledge that the work draws upon characteristics that are not necessarily his everyday strengths.

“You can’t help but have that softer side come out,” he says.

Being an active person, leading a fast-paced life and sometimes accused of being blunt by nature (honest yet loving feedback from family members), Kurt believes he has learned to slow down, be present and more tempered with his opinions. He likens his volunteer work to physical exercise, where sensory and intuitive parts of his modest personality, ones that don’t always get a strong workout, build up strength.
This strength sometimes comes from assisting with mundane tasks. Whether it is cleaning an electric razor for a patient or reading the sports section of the paper aloud, Kurt exercises helpfulness.

He also builds his intellect. Drawing upon his skills as a long time journalist and writer, Kurt reminisced about helping a patient finish a book project, completing the unfinished manuscript and then presenting it to the patient’s family. Another patient asked hospice for a volunteer to help him create a series of videotaped messages for his family to view after his death. Hospice assigned Kurt.

Mostly, however, Kurt aims for careful listening, exercising compassion, building connection, and demonstrating genuine friendship with his patients.

“I go in to see a patients and I make friends. I make a friend that happens to be sick and yes, that person is at the end of their life, but if I go in and provide a distraction for that person, that is a good thing,” he says.

writing

Documenting Life Stories

Borrowing on his journalistic talents, Kurt draws people out with inquisitive questions and becomes a new audience for old stories. For him, a simple inquiry, tell me about your family, results in receiving descriptions of a sea of experiences and life memories.
What is your favorite book?, another a great question Kurt poses to his patients, often leading to interesting interactions. One elderly woman once asked Kurt to read her beloved series of Christian romance novels aloud. They both enjoyed a laugh over Kurt’s masculine voice portraying the heroine, saying…”He came toward me with a fun sort of glow in his eyes.” These kind of light-hearted encounters are balanced by the more serious. Kurt recalled one woman who wanted to focus her energies solely on the Bible, and with Kurt at her side, they engaged in meaningful theological discussions. Wherever patients decide to venture intellectually, Kurt is right by their side.

From the mundane to the sublime, patients can always depend on Kurt—a journalist at heart with a heart for the journey.

Kurt Rogahn is a hospice volunteer for Unity Point Hospice of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, has been a volunteer since February 2005. A former newspaper reporter and editor, he is a senior proposal writer with Pearson Education in Iowa City, Iowa. He and his wife, Lynn, a retired teacher, have two grown children and three grandchildren.

Related Web Links
Why You Should Be Nice
Why Use Storytelling in Palliative Care

Spotlight TAKEAWAYS

  • Exercise the courage to show up
  • Make service to others a commitment
  • Remember the value of building friendships

July 10, 2016
by Mary York
0 comments

Julie Engstrom & Honoring Patients With an Open Heart, A Hospice Volunteer Spotlight

Hospice Volunteer

Hospice of the Valley Volunteer, Julie Engstrom

Breathing in Stillness and Honoring Life

Hospice volunteering is a natural extension to the work Julie Engstrom has dedicated herself to most of her life, advocating for patients and facilitating communication between caregivers in a hospital setting. She described facilitating “moments of normalcy” for patients in the hospital and now she applies that same skill to patients in the care of hospice, sharing a unique perspective on what she receives from the experience.

One of those perspectives is the importance of honoring the patient by taking a moment to notice and receive the space they occupy

Hospice Volunteer Honors Space

Honoring a Sacred Space

“I feel I need to open my heart when I enter a patient’s room/house, whether it be a bedroom or a living room, I take time to breathe in the photos, medicine bottles, pads, diapers or machines—all are part of their sacred space.” Julie said.

Knowing that a patient has invited Julie, as a volunteer, to share the last phase of their existence humbles her immensely. A tremendous feeling of gratitude fills her heart when she visits a patient, knowing they are giving her a precious gift of vulnerability and love, an act of kindness that permeates into her own relationships with friends and family.

The other gift Julie receives, through observation, is the knowledge that each person dies the way they lived. She describes the process of what is the end of life for her mother-in-law, one of peace, quiet visits with immediate family, and limited material distractions. Simplicity and depth is what she treasured about life, and it is what she wants in the end as well. In contrast, Julie, a gregarious and fun-loving person at heart, wishes for celebration, hugs, upbeat music—a very different experience than the one preferred by her mother-in-law. As individual as these end of life choices are, Julie has learned to honor them all.

What is universal in Julie’s experience however, is a sense of quiet that is inherent in hospice work. The accelerating pace of life and wish to fill every waking moment slows down when Julie visits a patient. This ability to invite stillness in, through silence, smell and even observation is a special gift of simply being present and Julie treasures this aspect of her work.

Julie said, “I believe I’m there to help the families breathe.”

Sometimes these times of breathing allow space for reflection and discovery for patients. Julie described a woman who was struggling with the guilt of burdening her caretaker husband. By providing a space for her to talk, the woman realized allowing her husband to care for her was providing him with the gift of purpose, meaning and an avenue for displaying his deep love and affection. These epiphanies can often emerge from quiet moments of stillness.

Stillness and Peace

Inviting in Stillness

Julie said, “The joy in hospice volunteering comes from opening my heart to vulnerability and absorbing the burden of worry, sorrow or pain of the moment and transforming that energy back into a nurturing, quiet and gentle presence.”

This ability to open her heart and share her nurturing spirit with others is something Julie treasures in her own life. She described the simple act of sitting with her husband and son, saying nothing at all, all the while savoring that time together.

I savored my discussion with Julie as well. Her ability to open her heart and stay wholly present is the special gift she shares with others, especially her hospice patients, taking time to truly honor them in the last phase of their lives.

Julie Engstrom is a volunteer with Hospice of the Valley and the Co-Founder of Beyond Fear to Freedom, a faith-based organization, providing authentic experiences of community for women.

Related Web Links
What It Really Means to Hold Space
Speaking Words of Wisdom-Let It Be
Things People Don’t Regret

Spotlight TAKEAWAYS

  • Notice and honor the space people occupy
  • Breathe and invite in quiet moments of stillness

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